October 26, 2019. Humans usually have a strong need of hanging out with each other. Eating together and talking about mundane events, the weather etc. It would be a mistake to look for concrete information exchanges as the main objectives of these interactions. If we do so it will typically seem as a meaningless rhetorical dance. The meetings rather implicitly answers questions such as e.g.: Am I welcome and safe in this group? Am I good enough?, which if answered positively means a lesser risk of being ostracized or subjected to violence. It will be important to build similar mechanisms in intelligent machines: Shame, drive towards community, and fear of being excluded.